So you want to be a demigod?
by TheMagicConch
Summary: This is what Chiron makes when he gets tired of showing the new demigods the orientation video. He just gives them this packet. Read on to find out! One-shot. ME NO OWN PJO. Jeez. Rick Riordan does...
1. Chapter 1

Greetings, new demigod:

If you are reading this letter than you have doubtless been claimed as a half mortal and half god hero, more widely known as demigods. If by some unprecedented reason you have gotten this letter and you are a moral, I suggest you put this letter down right now, or the consequences will be terrible, including have giant monsters including _dracaenae_, _empousa_, and other monsters to terrible to name as of now.

Please find an enclosed a short introductory guide to being an adolescent hero, which you must memorize, and then eat to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now requested that you cut the papers into small pieces before eating.

Camp half blood starts during June 27, when I hope that you will arrive with your satyr, and hopefully without any monsters chasing behind your back, and when I trust we will have the pleasure of seeing who your godly parent is. Please remember to bring your satyr, alive, to the Big House. It is very distressing when we have unaccounted for fatalities.

Yours truly,

_Chiron_

**SO YOU WANT TO BE A DEMIGOD?**

Welcome to the helpful guide to become a hero-in-training. The leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful hero. Please read every page before eating.

**Aims of the half-bloods**

Peace in Olympus

Elimination of monsters

Elimination of the Titans

Save the world

To carry on the line of half-bloods

**List of Equipment recommended for new campers**

Equipment marked * may be obtained from the camp store, outfitters for the half-bloods and stylish since the Golden Age

Camp half-blood t-shirt *

Camp half-blood long sleeves shirt(for winter) *

Other clothing to bring from home

Hiking boots *

Shoes for regular wear

Celestial bronze sword/knife/bow & arrow*

Spare knife in case of emergency*

Camp half-blood necklace(for every year of surviving, you will receive another bead for your necklace. This necklace represents one year of being able to survive while knowing who you are)

Will and Testament

Other specific items may be announced by Mr. D during announcement time

**Half-blood rules**

No half-blood may be a spy for the Titans

No half-blood may help any of the Titans rise for rebellion

All half-blood's must be proficient in one or more of the following: sword fighting, shooting a bow, being able to stab a monster without being killed, etc. etc.

No half-blood may kill another half-blood(unless during a war)

No half-blood may kill a mortal

All half-blood's must answer summons to Olympus immediately, unless doing something that requires the person to take off their clothes, in which case it is permitted to put on something

**Frequently Asked Questions**

_What happens if a god gets angry with me?_

In this case, the best you can hope to do, is to get on his/her good side again. If not, I strongly suggest that you write your Will and Testament quickly, for a god or goddess will surely kill you very soon. Cases of death and torture include:

Being impaled by a giant boar

Being killed by some cunning and devious plan

Being shot between the eyes

Being burned in a vat of boiling oil for the rest of eternity

Being forced to run through giant cactuses

Generally being killed in any way possible

Getting stabbed in the heart if they are in a hurry or are unimaginative

The only person who has offended a god and has gotten away with it without being hurt, was Percy Jackson. You may ask him for details.

_Could I die?_

Well, of course you could! What kind of demigod would you be if you couldn't get killed by any of the ways listed above

_What is the salary like?_

There is no salary. Consider living your salary. There are no raises, unless a god or goddess favors you and asks you to become immortal.

_What happens if I am not determined by a god or goddess yet?_

You will have to stay in the Hermes cabin and suffer from terrible pranks until you are determined. Oh, and make sure you always know where your valuables are.

_What should I do if Kronos is slowly put back together piece by piece by a young boy named Luke?_

This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it.

_Will I get to visit Olympus?_

If you stay year-round, yes, you will be able to see the Winter Solstice council meeting

_When is it certain that I will be determined by?_

By age 13

_When will I get a quest?_

Quests are completely overrated, and you should hope that you never get one. Ask Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, or Grover Underwood, for details.

**Health and Safety:**

Being a demigod is a naturally a dangerous job. Camp half blood accepts no liability for pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience.

However, in order to protect half-blood's, we have designed these safety rules for both during leisure times and missions.

Do not try to destroy the Titan Lord yourself. Leave it to Percy, who has much more experience.

_Employ masterly deceit to make sure that no one knows of your existence as a half-blood. However, if they do think you are a half-blood, simply say, "what is that?"_

_If this does not convince them, contact Mr. D immediately_

_Keep your weapon on you at all times._

_Do not use cell phones unless under serious circumstances_

Yours truly,

Chiron 


	2. Final AN

I have moved.

It was a spur of the moment decision, but I now have a new fanfiction account

If you still care, the penname is Glideon

Here is the URL

www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~glideon

Also, I have made a tumblr for people who want to check me out and follow me there too

www(dot)glideon(dot)tumblr(dot)com


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